Back to present day reality... We still sit in an awkward position, awkward location and awkward air is still rising high. Mark is kind of quiet. Well, maybe not 'kind of' because he IS really quiet.
(I don't talk much either but he is just beyond)
Two cups of coffee with brown stains were taken away by the waiter while my last flip of book finishes and my mouth begins to open.
"So.../Ah..."
And the coincidence kicked in.
He and I both chose to start speaking at the same point and I just felt in awe with that kind of coincident matter.
You see how unintentional coincidences are very rare for some reason?
One may say the rate of coincidence is very high, however that sort of saying would exclude the rate of intentional coincidences - which, yes, happens very regularly.
"You first"
Mark's deep voice bounced into my ears as well as his smile and little giggle which reflect in my eyes.
I have always been imagining how he would laugh, smile, and grin.
And I've seen it all in 3 seconds.
"I was gonna say... Do you want to go to the planetarium someday?"
My voice shakes a little but I am certain he doesn't recognise. I'm trying my best to get the nervous feeling down.
"No"
My heart dropped a meter when I heard that word in totally calm and stable voice.
But then...Damn...
He laughs
"Hahaha, I mean; no, not someday... Let's go now"
His white fangs are what's significant about his smile. He stands up immediately so I just automatically do, too.
But the weird thing is that his left hand reaches out in the air
I don't know what he was doing and what he's yearning for
But I, too, reach out for the warmth of his palm
The warmth which give me chills
The warmth that seems way too familiar
His almond eyes gaze back into mine once I lift my head up. And that moment I know something is going on.
I guess we have reunited with ourselves in that weird virtual time and space.
Just like the beginning of everything up until now.
[Mark]
Bambam’s crystal clear eyes reflected the man-made sky full of stars of the planetarium.
You’ll never imagine how much it takes for me to keep my quiet and try not to look nervous.
He can never imagine how much it takes for me to not reach out and embrace his slim body in my arms.
My instinct keeps telling me that those are the right things to do.
My instinct keeps telling me that I should kiss him every time our eyes meet.
But well…
who wants to look like an obsessive psycho guy on their first official date…
If I can call this a date
“Ticket for two, please”
Bambam talked to the lady on the counter before turning to me, suggesting the price and the features of this place. He seems to enjoy even the slightest detail of this place.
And I seem to enjoy every bit of his charm.
The sparkles in those dark brown eyes
The shy grin on his face when the lady asked if we were a couple
The rosy blush on his plump cheeks when he realises our hands weren’t apart yet
I don’t know...
I seem to want to cherish them all.
“Do you admire the northern star?”
Bambam asked with a soft, mild voice
We were sitting on separated seats
The chair felt like those they put by the sea.
There was a gap between us
Not a bad one, though
In fact, a good one to let some breeze through
“I do. Like all other stars… I admire them all”
I really do.
Northern star might be the one to guide your way in your darkest nights with lost directions but I guess it’s not wrong to say you mustn't forget the fact that all other stars are burning somewhere out there, too.
And most important of all,
The Sun
“Which star do you like most?”
“I don’t have one, actually. But I do admire the level of burning the sun gives out”
“I know right. It gives out not just light and heat… but life…”
Oh how much life is concerned to be the miracle. Nonetheless, it is life which brought us here to suffocate and leave, possibly, with no significant remarks and traces of who we were when lived and were alive.
“Because life is not something to take for granted…”
“And time is not something to take lightly…”
Then we kept quiet for the rest of the tour inside the planetarium. I see stars. I see galaxies. I see theories and information.
Above all, I see a faint ignition inside myself.
I guess this might be what people call
‘falling in love’.
[Bambam]
I'm crossing my fingers hoping that he won’t take this silence as awkward.
I mean I don’t think he does.
But I worry anyway. You know…
“Do you believe in gravity”
His deep voice resonates inside my ear and I never seem to get over the nervous feeling of hearing that.
“I was and still am a student under study of astronomy. So. Of course I do.”
Do you know how hard it is to try and talk at the minimum when usually you have been doing more?
“Is there a horizontal gravity?”
“We call that attraction. Opposite of repulsion”
“So is there any force of attraction between human and human?”
“There is one between the planets. If you consider yourself as pluto and me as uranus, then yes our fields interact with each other and both of us relate to the sun.”
Thick eyebrows lifted up one sided as to raise the question
“Why do I have to be pluto”
"Because we do not come into interaction everyday. Just once in a while"
"Hmmmmmmm"
"Or would you say it differently?"
I giggle lightly while glancing and him, then I realise I have made a mistake.
Those eyes. Those eyes I have always seen in my dreams.
Such gentle eyes. So gentle it gleams.
"What if I would"
I walk away. Not from embarrassment or frustration but these burning red cheeks of mine don't want themselves seen. At least I know this.
"Then please state"
I can feel him walking behind me and getting closer as I stop in front of one of the installations. His palm rests on my relaxed hair. I feel my heart beating. Literally. I am feelin my heart beating through my chest.
"What if... I would like to see you more often than Pluto seeing Uranus?"
"..."
"Would you say yes?"
Oh gosh. What is this? Some kind of proposal?!
Does he really need to do this to me?! This man.
"...then so be it"
I nearly whisper due to the flush I am getting from head to toe. His hand shakes a little, probably from his light giggles, then I can feel the warmth coming through my scalp as he plays with my head.
"Then so be it. Remember what you just said."
"?"
"This new pluto will never leave the solar system again."
Ok...
Then so be it...
What if I have fallen in love...
Then so be it.
